You may wonder why this picture is aside my very first blog post. To-be-honest, this picture changed my entire life. At the beginning of this year, it's safe to say I was a very different person. Someone who thought they had it all figured out--well, joke was on me.
I was a lost soul, simple. I was stuck in constant routine, had lost some sight of goals, and my independent ways started to slip out from beneath me. I thought moving back down to North Carolina would give my life some hope again, and it did...but in a very unexpected way.
The picture you see above here, are my great great grandparents from Germany. Big deal, right? Everyone's got silly old pictures of their family members lying around the house. What's so special about this one? The story is simple really. I never found anything out about my ancestors until this year. For some reason, it struck an interest like nothing ever has before, and I found an ambition in them that I have in myself.
Before my job with a race team, I never really had much interest in traveling. Growing up, I didn't have the luxury of being exposed to worldly things. My parents just said they didn't have a vast interest in that kind of thing. To-each-his-own, I believe-it's not for everyone. Traveling close to every weekend gave me a feeling like I'd never had before, though. It was exciting, and completely random. You never knew what was going to happen or who you were going to run into. Running around frantically throughout Laguardia airport, trying to see if I could catch the last plane before the storm set in. And the adrenaline I felt sitting on the runway in a small propeller plane, getting ready to take off, as the lighting and rain came down from above. I'll never forget the moment when they said we couldn't go anywhere, and the feeling of being suck in Manhattan, NY completely by myself. It was an insane rush--or logistical nightmare, you be the judge.
Nothing has since given me the same feeling that I felt that night. I had no control over what happened. The entire team was already in New Hampshire from leaving earlier than me, making me completely and utterly alone. I knew no one, and it's safe to say that Manhattan is pretty forgeign to someone from such a small town in rural Ohio. Throughout it all, though, looking back at the feelings that rushed through me, fear wasn't one of them.
I guess just as my ancestors, I seek something different. Completely different. Everyone says that no one like's to feel alone. I never felt alone that night. New situations, give me a brighter outlook on things. It's kind of like the first day of work, when you know no one. You know you'll be around these new people every day, but instead of being intimidated and fearful of starting something new and meeting new people, I'm excited, ready to learn something different and make new friends. I'm a big fan of change, in case you haven't caught onto that...and obviously, those two people above were as well when they decided to move here.
The world doesn't function without change. It's what keeps it going, good and bad--like it or not. I can't see just sitting here, pretending to be content. It's not for me. I want that reoccurring feeling like I felt that night, and I know the only way to get it is to put myself in those situations.
I'm not running from anything...I get asked that a lot. I'm running towards something, something different. Life doesn't last forever, everyone knows this, and I'm just trying to find what make's me happy. I seek unfamiliar because to me unfamiliar means opportunity and experience, and change, change isn't always a bad thing. I've spent too many years taking one step forward and two steps back, but with change sometimes comes chance, and I'm more than willing to take it.
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