Bothered.

I would love to say that I'm resorting back to my past, but...let's be honest here, I've taken my past into my present. Who can possibly relate? Relate to the fact that my heart constantly aches to be free and on my own, completely lost in the adventures of my own emotions--without regard to anything or anyone around me. Searching for whatever I feel is missing in my current day-to-day.

Almost 27 years old and still searching for what makes me happy. While most people are able to find happiness only steps away from where they grow up, my span and search crosses over thousands and thousands of miles. A few states, a giant ocean and even then some.

I struggle with constantly questioning my decisions and my thoughts behind them. Always wondering if I'm making the right ones and what's best for my future. I feel like because of where I grew up, I've been held back and sheltered from so many things. And now that I've gotten a small taste of what it's like to be far, far away, it's all I can think about. With family who can't possibly relate and friends that don't seem to bother, it only pushes me futher and further away.

I've been told over and over again that I'm always searching for something. I'll be content for a small period of time and then all of the sudden want a change. Those are the people that aren't listening. Because if you listened, you would realize I am never content. If your not searching for something, trying to make yourself better, trying to understand this life you have been given...what's the point?
The American, fast paced way of life is the norm. Not taking the time to truly appreciate all that's around you, the small things that make up your day-to-day. Taking the time to wake up and take a deep breath before running to your first morning cup of coffee. Take a minute...breathe...